I feel extremely thankful for my life today even more so than usual. I have learnt that Jade Goody lost her cancer battle today at he age of 27 leaving behind 2 young sons.
As I have said before, I believe God has a plan for all of us and we won't be able to know what it is untill after we pass. This how-ever does not stop the saddness and the feeling of why has this happened, because we are human and know nothing else..
I am very sad for Jade's little boys, losing their mom on Mothers day of all days.
I pray that they grow strong in faith and that this tragedy does not hinder their future in anyway.
If they are anything like their mother they will thrive and make best of all situations.
My prayers are with Jade's family at this time of grieving. I pray for strength and courage for all of them, also for anyone else having to face the cancer battle at the moment.
I don't think that we as humans know how strong we are until being strong is the only option. I also believe that God does not give us anything to endure that does not have rich rewards and blessings at the end of it.
As I said above it is impossible sometimes to physically see what these rewards may be but I think we have to have faith and trust God implicitly. Know that God's plan is perfect and it really is his buisness. We will never have any conception of the why's, what-for's and where's while we are on earth.
I am thankful today and am overwhelmingly glad to be alive. This has made me realise I need to take care of ME because life is precious and all though I know where I am going after I die, I still want to make the best of this life first, as it was given to me for a reason.
I am thankful for my loved ones and pray for their good health. I am blessed and I know it!
'When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say blessed be the name of the Lord!'
Sunday 22 March 2009
Friday 20 March 2009
My MS story
For a while now I have been meaning to write about my life with multiple sclerosis.
It is not an easy life, I grant you that, but it is by no means worthless, I am still a mother a daughter a grand-daughter and girlfriend to an incredible bunch of people who mean the world to me and visa versa. I have a lot to give!
I will begin by telling you how it began.
In the year 2002 on Boxing Day, I had the most horrific headache I have ever encountered, I mean horrible, I could not open my eyes or even lift my head off the pillow. Then the day after, my right eye felt strange…If you know MS you will know that many symptoms can only be described as strange, as it is hard to pin point exactly what you are feeling. Anyway my eyesight was kind of blurred and put a blue tinge on everything. That lasted for about 2 days before I just lost the sight in that eye totally. Very scary stuff!
I went for an appointment at the opticians, who predicted optic neuritis but sent me for a check up at the eye hospital where optic neuritis was confirmed. Okay I had it but what now?
Looking back I took it in my stride I seem to be good at doing that, I don’t know why or how… I just do. To anyone else I guess it would be devastating to be blind in one eye and not really knowing why. Thankfully I did regain my sight and was told it may not come back to the standard it was before, but I can say now it is quite good I can see, I wear glasses but with only a mild prescription.
I do have Uhthoff’s Sign, which basically means my eyes go ‘hazzy’ in the heat or when my body temperature rises due to a bath or exertion. Then goes back to normal when it drops back down again.
My next symptom. A couple of weeks after the optic neuritis was the feeling of heat in my right side. This was a strange one ( I now recognize this as normal!) My foot felt, to me to be burning hot, it gradually move up my body, I went to A and E because I had no idea what was happening, as you can imagine. There, the doctor who examined me, did all sorts of pin pricking tests on the sole of my foot and upwards, which I could feel. The outcome was… He didn’t really know and sent me away, without any advice or information. This after a while went away. So I carried on as normal.
A few months later I had pins and needles in my right leg, like the feeling you get when you have lay on your leg during the night and the blood is just starting to come back into it. But this was not the case. The feeling was all the time.
Then my hands went the same way. I visited my GP and after explaining what had been happening to me over the past few months, she told me it was looking that I may have multiple sclerosis. At that moment my heart sank, you can imagine I’m sure because MS is one of those diseases most people have heard of, but know little about, if you have never been in contact with anyone who has it.
I asked the GP what MS was, she said she didn’t want to discuss it until some tests had been done. She sent me for a blood test and that was it. I left the surgery with tears streaming down my face, not being able to think properly and with visions of a life permanently in a wheel chair or worse.
After the blood test results come back relatively normal, the next step was being reffered to a neurologist.
Because I wanted a quick diagnosis and treatment right away if it was that I had got this disease, multiple sclerosis, my dad paid for me to get a quick appointment, as the waiting list was for months in the future. We went along, my parents and I, full of questions and hope for a diagnosis of what was happening to me.
This was not to be, as MS takes notoriously long to diagnose we did not know this at the time and were rather bemused with it all. The neurologist basically told me he would send me for an MRI scan and that from this first scan, in most cases, MS is not usually diagnosed, it is just the first step and that I should go away and live my life as normally as I could, because even with a diagnosis of MS there is no cure and very little treatment. How frustrated we were! We wanted answers and all we were left with were more questions!
After I had had the scan, I went back to the neurologist, who said that the scan had showed some ‘lesions’ (scars where the myelin covering the nerve endings has been attacked by the immune system, as foreign) on my brain but it was not enough to make the diagnosis and from it he could say that there was a 10% chance of me developing MS in the next 5 years!
His advice was go away and live, try to keep stress free and don’t worry… Some advice and help that was to me!
So I did what he said to the best of my ability, I put all the symptoms I had been experiencing down to stress and more or less forgot about it. Then more of the numbness and tingling came back, I phoned up for an appointment again with the neurologist and got one after a few weeks of waiting on the NHS. He did all kinds of neurological tests and I requested another MRI scan, he said okay but it probably wouldn’t show up anything more and I was likely to get the same diagnosis as before. I took my chances and went on the waiting list for the scan, I got my appointment about 9 months after the initial consultation. And a few weeks later I was called in for the results.
I went along with my mom and son expecting more of the same. Oh no, not this time. I was given the diagnosis of Relapsing-Remitting Multiple sclerosis. This is the most common type to be diagnosed with, it means you have periods of ‘relapse’ where you get all the nasty symptoms I have been describing or worse. Then after a few weeks your body goes into remission, where you gradually get better. To what degree of remission depends on the person, there is no official remission rate it is impossible to say.
I had a lot of feelings right then, but the one I remember the most is relief. After nearly 2 years of going backwards and forwards to doctors and specialists and being told there was nothing really wrong with me, I felt it was all in my head. Now I KNEW it wasn’t!. Strange really, to be relieved at a diagnosis like that, but because I had lived with MS hanging over my head for nearly 2 years, I had researched, so I knew it was not the death sentence I had previously thought.
Some would say MS is a life sentence, without the worry of dying from it, but I see it differently, I just had to adapt my life around it, that’s all, I knew I was strong and that no matter how much I would have liked I could not take it away, give it away or have it cured. MS was part of me now, like it or not. It sure throws up some challenges and life is not always easy.
I have had very bad times when I could not do much for myself. I lost my co-ordination and muscle strength for a while, that was hard, I was also numb from head to toe. I must admit I was very scared with that one. I did some crying and feeling sorry for myself. But again in true Gem spirit I accepted it and embraced it and it went away. Admittedly, leaving me with chronic fatigue and vertigo. At this point I did have to give up working which is something that was hard to do. Work was a shut off for me. I went to work and forgot for a while, my worries and my problems and for a few hours a day, I was just a shop assistant nothing else. I liked that. But again I accepted and adapted.
So since the year 2004 my life changed. I could no longer escape life by working and I had the specter of MS constantly over my head. How did I cope?…I just did, as I always say and maintain to this day ‘I have MS it does not have me!’ How can I be any other way?
Yes it is me, if you want to look at it like that, I do have to work around it, it does not work around me. I suffer chronic fatigue on a daily basis, and I have insomnia… Work that one out!
How can you be so tired that you can’t even think anymore yet, go to bed and spend hours lying there just not being able to shut off your mind to sleep? Wow that one has me, it really does.
It is very frustrating and all though some medication I take does help in some way, with the insomnia, it is still touch and go that I get a good night sleep. I rarely do, as I have to get up in the night like, a million times, for a wee (well not a million, but it sure feels that way!)
My bladder likes being arsey too.. yeah okay, I am DESPERATE, I mean desperate for the loo, to the point where I am nearly having a very embarrassing accident right there and then. To getting to a loo, sitting down and waiting for that familiar relieving release when NO nope no wee! I sit and sit I concentrate hard I think of Niagra Falls, I do anything to make me go, but I can’t it will not release! So after sitting there for about 10 minuets or so it gradually trickles out like I’ve got all day!… Great!. It’s oh so much fun! This is called bladder retention where the muscle that releases to make you wee instead retracts.
MS does make your body contradict it self and that is a strange one to understand. But you do, you have to because like I said, you can’t change it.
I am currently not on any medication for my MS. Again this is a hard one with this illness.
You get an illness you go to the GP, you get some medication for this illness.. cured… right?
Wrong, not MS, it’s just not that simple, because in the medical world, so little is known about it e.g; why a person gets it, how it affects one person to another etc there has not been a cure found… YET… there will be, I have faith in that.
But for now there are disease modifying drugs, all of which (there are 4) are injectables. Disease modifying means they do not cure the illness but there is some chance that they slow down the progression of the illness and claim to reduce the number of relapses a person with MS suffers. The downfall is that this is not for certain. The patient who decides to go ahead with these drugs is only given around 30% chance of them not having another relapse and the same for the progression of the illness. You have to bear in mind also that these drugs come with side effects, so on top of probably still suffering a relapse you have the side effects of the chosen drug to deal with too.
Doctors can’t tell if the drugs are working on a patient very well because with the nature of MS being so unpredictable it is likely that you don’t have a relapse for a prolonged amount of time anyway. Therefore not knowing if the drugs are working or that it’s just not your time for a relapse… Go figure!
If being given the option to go ahead with the disease modifying drugs, and the patient embarks on the path of these such drugs.
They will go along to a meeting about them armed with relevant leaflets they will have been given beforehand, so they will probably have made a decision in theory. All 4 injecatables have different names; Betaferon, Copaxone, Rebif and Avonex the 3 former being injected under the skin the latter into a muscle.
You will usually make your decision to fit around your life style for example the Avonex is an only once a week injection because it is administered into the muscle unlike the other 3 which are injected under the skin.
That is just a bit of my limited knowledge on the subject. I am not a doctor and have no wish to profess to be!
I am talking simply from an MS sufferers point of view and I would like you to bear in mind this is only my view and not the view of other MS sufferers, who if spoken to would probably tell you a different story.
So I will continue by saying that I myself chose not to have any drug.
I weighed them all up quite seriously, the pros and cons and concluded they were not for me. That is not to say that in the future I will not change my mind, plus the medical MS world is advancing all the time. There is even talk of a tablet form of the disease modifying drug due out by the end of the year!
I have to say that one of my main no-no’s for the drugs was that they were all injectables. I have to confess and people who know me will all ready know I have a fear of needles. Please note this was not my only reason for not taking any drugs but none the less, it was one factor to put on the cons list. Personal choice! My drug specialist backed me up with my decision all the way and I can say, so far, I have not regretted it.
All that being said (the technical stuff) I would like to let you all know how on a personal note I cope with MS
Well first off, I take one day at a time, what I can do today I may not be able to do tomorrow. That’s okay I can live with that.
One day I may need to walk with a stick and I might even look like I have had one too many, But I can assure you I have not, I am T-total! I am a cheap date. I can look drunk without touching a drop forget things and maybe even slur my speech. Without one little drink. Clever huh?
I can laugh at myself. That is a biggie for me, laughing gets me through even the hardest of days. If others can laugh why can’t I?
If you have the right attitude you can live with anything. I consider my attitude towards life and MS to be positive. I think if you can’t beat them join them!
That is what gets me through, because I know that nothing in my power can change the fact that I have MS, I must deal with it the best way I know how, and that is with a positive attitude and humour! Life is after all, what you make it.
Faith is a big part of my life. Not only faith in God but faith in myself and others personal and none personal. My faith in my boyfriend, to be there for me, no matter what. Faith in my parents, brother and son, for always being there to help me and love me.
My friends, for being there to laugh and have a moan with.
Faith in the medical profession that one-day there will be a cure for MS.
Prayer plays a major role in my life. I pray for the courage to face anything that I may come up against, and I pray for faith. Because this ever-sure faith I have does not come from me. I cannot take all the credit for it. I believe it comes from God.
I believe it is a gift given to me, not something I have all by myself.
Prayer allows me to put before God all my fears, concerns and worries, where I leave them. Because I know that if they’re left with him I can be sure I will not have to endure anything I cannot cope with.
I can cope with anything as long as I know God is with me.
And last but not least I have so many wonderful friends with MS, whom I can talk to, anytime about what is going on with my body and they actually understand!
People without MS can never fully understand what it is like to have it, because prior to my life with MS I had never experienced anything like what goes on with my body today. It is a MSers only club!
I have found these wonderful people on line through networking sites.
I do not know anybody personally who suffers from MS and for a time I was going through it on my own, but now I have found these friends who make my life so much easier!
I am ALIVE.
I do not regret anything in my life that I have done. If I could go back, I would do it all the same.
I love my life. I love God who has made my life so much better just through knowing him personally.
I can suffer anything knowing he is always there for me and I know without a doubt this is just the start of my life. It is only the beginning. Through God I will live eternally and upon my departure from this world, I will be with him, in glory forever.
How happier could I possibly be, after knowing that!
I do not ask God why? I do not ask because I am safe in knowledge his plan for me is perfect.
I have MS. That is true but it is a small price to pay for getting this life filled with so many good things, the love of so many special people, the friendship of so many who without MS I would never have met.
Suffering makes you appreciate the good times and appreciate the things that matter. Trivial things like money mean nothing, if you have true honest pure love.
Faith hope and love but the greatest of these is love…
I do not ask for my load to be lightened, all I ask for is broad shoulders to bear it.
So that really sums me up. On an MS note anyway!
I do hope that what I have written goes a little way in explaining to others how I feel, cope and live with MS.
I wanted to let people know MS is not the end it is just another chapter!
Yours Gem.
It is not an easy life, I grant you that, but it is by no means worthless, I am still a mother a daughter a grand-daughter and girlfriend to an incredible bunch of people who mean the world to me and visa versa. I have a lot to give!
I will begin by telling you how it began.
In the year 2002 on Boxing Day, I had the most horrific headache I have ever encountered, I mean horrible, I could not open my eyes or even lift my head off the pillow. Then the day after, my right eye felt strange…If you know MS you will know that many symptoms can only be described as strange, as it is hard to pin point exactly what you are feeling. Anyway my eyesight was kind of blurred and put a blue tinge on everything. That lasted for about 2 days before I just lost the sight in that eye totally. Very scary stuff!
I went for an appointment at the opticians, who predicted optic neuritis but sent me for a check up at the eye hospital where optic neuritis was confirmed. Okay I had it but what now?
Looking back I took it in my stride I seem to be good at doing that, I don’t know why or how… I just do. To anyone else I guess it would be devastating to be blind in one eye and not really knowing why. Thankfully I did regain my sight and was told it may not come back to the standard it was before, but I can say now it is quite good I can see, I wear glasses but with only a mild prescription.
I do have Uhthoff’s Sign, which basically means my eyes go ‘hazzy’ in the heat or when my body temperature rises due to a bath or exertion. Then goes back to normal when it drops back down again.
My next symptom. A couple of weeks after the optic neuritis was the feeling of heat in my right side. This was a strange one ( I now recognize this as normal!) My foot felt, to me to be burning hot, it gradually move up my body, I went to A and E because I had no idea what was happening, as you can imagine. There, the doctor who examined me, did all sorts of pin pricking tests on the sole of my foot and upwards, which I could feel. The outcome was… He didn’t really know and sent me away, without any advice or information. This after a while went away. So I carried on as normal.
A few months later I had pins and needles in my right leg, like the feeling you get when you have lay on your leg during the night and the blood is just starting to come back into it. But this was not the case. The feeling was all the time.
Then my hands went the same way. I visited my GP and after explaining what had been happening to me over the past few months, she told me it was looking that I may have multiple sclerosis. At that moment my heart sank, you can imagine I’m sure because MS is one of those diseases most people have heard of, but know little about, if you have never been in contact with anyone who has it.
I asked the GP what MS was, she said she didn’t want to discuss it until some tests had been done. She sent me for a blood test and that was it. I left the surgery with tears streaming down my face, not being able to think properly and with visions of a life permanently in a wheel chair or worse.
After the blood test results come back relatively normal, the next step was being reffered to a neurologist.
Because I wanted a quick diagnosis and treatment right away if it was that I had got this disease, multiple sclerosis, my dad paid for me to get a quick appointment, as the waiting list was for months in the future. We went along, my parents and I, full of questions and hope for a diagnosis of what was happening to me.
This was not to be, as MS takes notoriously long to diagnose we did not know this at the time and were rather bemused with it all. The neurologist basically told me he would send me for an MRI scan and that from this first scan, in most cases, MS is not usually diagnosed, it is just the first step and that I should go away and live my life as normally as I could, because even with a diagnosis of MS there is no cure and very little treatment. How frustrated we were! We wanted answers and all we were left with were more questions!
After I had had the scan, I went back to the neurologist, who said that the scan had showed some ‘lesions’ (scars where the myelin covering the nerve endings has been attacked by the immune system, as foreign) on my brain but it was not enough to make the diagnosis and from it he could say that there was a 10% chance of me developing MS in the next 5 years!
His advice was go away and live, try to keep stress free and don’t worry… Some advice and help that was to me!
So I did what he said to the best of my ability, I put all the symptoms I had been experiencing down to stress and more or less forgot about it. Then more of the numbness and tingling came back, I phoned up for an appointment again with the neurologist and got one after a few weeks of waiting on the NHS. He did all kinds of neurological tests and I requested another MRI scan, he said okay but it probably wouldn’t show up anything more and I was likely to get the same diagnosis as before. I took my chances and went on the waiting list for the scan, I got my appointment about 9 months after the initial consultation. And a few weeks later I was called in for the results.
I went along with my mom and son expecting more of the same. Oh no, not this time. I was given the diagnosis of Relapsing-Remitting Multiple sclerosis. This is the most common type to be diagnosed with, it means you have periods of ‘relapse’ where you get all the nasty symptoms I have been describing or worse. Then after a few weeks your body goes into remission, where you gradually get better. To what degree of remission depends on the person, there is no official remission rate it is impossible to say.
I had a lot of feelings right then, but the one I remember the most is relief. After nearly 2 years of going backwards and forwards to doctors and specialists and being told there was nothing really wrong with me, I felt it was all in my head. Now I KNEW it wasn’t!. Strange really, to be relieved at a diagnosis like that, but because I had lived with MS hanging over my head for nearly 2 years, I had researched, so I knew it was not the death sentence I had previously thought.
Some would say MS is a life sentence, without the worry of dying from it, but I see it differently, I just had to adapt my life around it, that’s all, I knew I was strong and that no matter how much I would have liked I could not take it away, give it away or have it cured. MS was part of me now, like it or not. It sure throws up some challenges and life is not always easy.
I have had very bad times when I could not do much for myself. I lost my co-ordination and muscle strength for a while, that was hard, I was also numb from head to toe. I must admit I was very scared with that one. I did some crying and feeling sorry for myself. But again in true Gem spirit I accepted it and embraced it and it went away. Admittedly, leaving me with chronic fatigue and vertigo. At this point I did have to give up working which is something that was hard to do. Work was a shut off for me. I went to work and forgot for a while, my worries and my problems and for a few hours a day, I was just a shop assistant nothing else. I liked that. But again I accepted and adapted.
So since the year 2004 my life changed. I could no longer escape life by working and I had the specter of MS constantly over my head. How did I cope?…I just did, as I always say and maintain to this day ‘I have MS it does not have me!’ How can I be any other way?
Yes it is me, if you want to look at it like that, I do have to work around it, it does not work around me. I suffer chronic fatigue on a daily basis, and I have insomnia… Work that one out!
How can you be so tired that you can’t even think anymore yet, go to bed and spend hours lying there just not being able to shut off your mind to sleep? Wow that one has me, it really does.
It is very frustrating and all though some medication I take does help in some way, with the insomnia, it is still touch and go that I get a good night sleep. I rarely do, as I have to get up in the night like, a million times, for a wee (well not a million, but it sure feels that way!)
My bladder likes being arsey too.. yeah okay, I am DESPERATE, I mean desperate for the loo, to the point where I am nearly having a very embarrassing accident right there and then. To getting to a loo, sitting down and waiting for that familiar relieving release when NO nope no wee! I sit and sit I concentrate hard I think of Niagra Falls, I do anything to make me go, but I can’t it will not release! So after sitting there for about 10 minuets or so it gradually trickles out like I’ve got all day!… Great!. It’s oh so much fun! This is called bladder retention where the muscle that releases to make you wee instead retracts.
MS does make your body contradict it self and that is a strange one to understand. But you do, you have to because like I said, you can’t change it.
I am currently not on any medication for my MS. Again this is a hard one with this illness.
You get an illness you go to the GP, you get some medication for this illness.. cured… right?
Wrong, not MS, it’s just not that simple, because in the medical world, so little is known about it e.g; why a person gets it, how it affects one person to another etc there has not been a cure found… YET… there will be, I have faith in that.
But for now there are disease modifying drugs, all of which (there are 4) are injectables. Disease modifying means they do not cure the illness but there is some chance that they slow down the progression of the illness and claim to reduce the number of relapses a person with MS suffers. The downfall is that this is not for certain. The patient who decides to go ahead with these drugs is only given around 30% chance of them not having another relapse and the same for the progression of the illness. You have to bear in mind also that these drugs come with side effects, so on top of probably still suffering a relapse you have the side effects of the chosen drug to deal with too.
Doctors can’t tell if the drugs are working on a patient very well because with the nature of MS being so unpredictable it is likely that you don’t have a relapse for a prolonged amount of time anyway. Therefore not knowing if the drugs are working or that it’s just not your time for a relapse… Go figure!
If being given the option to go ahead with the disease modifying drugs, and the patient embarks on the path of these such drugs.
They will go along to a meeting about them armed with relevant leaflets they will have been given beforehand, so they will probably have made a decision in theory. All 4 injecatables have different names; Betaferon, Copaxone, Rebif and Avonex the 3 former being injected under the skin the latter into a muscle.
You will usually make your decision to fit around your life style for example the Avonex is an only once a week injection because it is administered into the muscle unlike the other 3 which are injected under the skin.
That is just a bit of my limited knowledge on the subject. I am not a doctor and have no wish to profess to be!
I am talking simply from an MS sufferers point of view and I would like you to bear in mind this is only my view and not the view of other MS sufferers, who if spoken to would probably tell you a different story.
So I will continue by saying that I myself chose not to have any drug.
I weighed them all up quite seriously, the pros and cons and concluded they were not for me. That is not to say that in the future I will not change my mind, plus the medical MS world is advancing all the time. There is even talk of a tablet form of the disease modifying drug due out by the end of the year!
I have to say that one of my main no-no’s for the drugs was that they were all injectables. I have to confess and people who know me will all ready know I have a fear of needles. Please note this was not my only reason for not taking any drugs but none the less, it was one factor to put on the cons list. Personal choice! My drug specialist backed me up with my decision all the way and I can say, so far, I have not regretted it.
All that being said (the technical stuff) I would like to let you all know how on a personal note I cope with MS
Well first off, I take one day at a time, what I can do today I may not be able to do tomorrow. That’s okay I can live with that.
One day I may need to walk with a stick and I might even look like I have had one too many, But I can assure you I have not, I am T-total! I am a cheap date. I can look drunk without touching a drop forget things and maybe even slur my speech. Without one little drink. Clever huh?
I can laugh at myself. That is a biggie for me, laughing gets me through even the hardest of days. If others can laugh why can’t I?
If you have the right attitude you can live with anything. I consider my attitude towards life and MS to be positive. I think if you can’t beat them join them!
That is what gets me through, because I know that nothing in my power can change the fact that I have MS, I must deal with it the best way I know how, and that is with a positive attitude and humour! Life is after all, what you make it.
Faith is a big part of my life. Not only faith in God but faith in myself and others personal and none personal. My faith in my boyfriend, to be there for me, no matter what. Faith in my parents, brother and son, for always being there to help me and love me.
My friends, for being there to laugh and have a moan with.
Faith in the medical profession that one-day there will be a cure for MS.
Prayer plays a major role in my life. I pray for the courage to face anything that I may come up against, and I pray for faith. Because this ever-sure faith I have does not come from me. I cannot take all the credit for it. I believe it comes from God.
I believe it is a gift given to me, not something I have all by myself.
Prayer allows me to put before God all my fears, concerns and worries, where I leave them. Because I know that if they’re left with him I can be sure I will not have to endure anything I cannot cope with.
I can cope with anything as long as I know God is with me.
And last but not least I have so many wonderful friends with MS, whom I can talk to, anytime about what is going on with my body and they actually understand!
People without MS can never fully understand what it is like to have it, because prior to my life with MS I had never experienced anything like what goes on with my body today. It is a MSers only club!
I have found these wonderful people on line through networking sites.
I do not know anybody personally who suffers from MS and for a time I was going through it on my own, but now I have found these friends who make my life so much easier!
I am ALIVE.
I do not regret anything in my life that I have done. If I could go back, I would do it all the same.
I love my life. I love God who has made my life so much better just through knowing him personally.
I can suffer anything knowing he is always there for me and I know without a doubt this is just the start of my life. It is only the beginning. Through God I will live eternally and upon my departure from this world, I will be with him, in glory forever.
How happier could I possibly be, after knowing that!
I do not ask God why? I do not ask because I am safe in knowledge his plan for me is perfect.
I have MS. That is true but it is a small price to pay for getting this life filled with so many good things, the love of so many special people, the friendship of so many who without MS I would never have met.
Suffering makes you appreciate the good times and appreciate the things that matter. Trivial things like money mean nothing, if you have true honest pure love.
Faith hope and love but the greatest of these is love…
I do not ask for my load to be lightened, all I ask for is broad shoulders to bear it.
So that really sums me up. On an MS note anyway!
I do hope that what I have written goes a little way in explaining to others how I feel, cope and live with MS.
I wanted to let people know MS is not the end it is just another chapter!
Yours Gem.
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